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It involves 16-year-old Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart), a girl looking to make a fresh start with her father in Forks, Washington (she’s originally from Phoenix, Arizona).
Average teenage girl Bella (Kristen Stewart), her character no doubt named after Bela Lugosi (And if you don’t know who Bela Lugosi is, why are you watching a vampire movie? She moves to Washington state to live with her affable-but-quiet father (Billy Burke), and there meets Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson).
Edward represses what appears to be a gag-reflex upon their first interaction, but later we learn he struggled to suppress his passionately flaring bloodlust, which, of course, forecasts his love.
They’re no longer their romantic or tragic selves in present-day clothing, and their alluring qualities dissipate when they start dishing out pop-culture references. Usually clad in lots of black or lots of white, they parade around with their pale skin, soaked in hair product, a Zoolander-like gaze fixed on their mug, looking like emo rejects from the latest Calvin Klein ad.
They lack ambiance and atmosphere, everything that made Dracula so bewitching.
She teaches at Cal State San Marcos in the Department of Literature and Writing and in the women’s studies program.
Bound to Victorian classicism, vampires surrender their appeal in a contemporary setting.
Doubtlessly lycanthropic Native Americans raise their eyebrows at Edward’s kind, pointing toward trouble on the horizon.
None of this has much to do with Bella and Edward finally embracing one another, however.
They eventually fall for each other — he entrusting her with his secret; she telling him she’ll give up everything to be with him.
While that lovey-dovey stuff may work for them, it doesn’t for James (Cam Gigandet) and his clan of “tracker” vampires.